AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's





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BJ rock

My fav swiming spot during low/mid tide


This is to certify that any misunder standing betwee Doc Ndodlo was just that and I apologise for my behaviuor in taking it out on Doc Ndlovo that she sent me to Umzimukulu physc Hospital as Doc Ndlovo in her late twenties was obtaining instructions from above

Rated 18+ Sex Violence Language Substance, if you are under 18 get out of here, parents are responsible to filter this domain so their kids don't read below


This book can and will be used in a South African court of law or the European Court of Justice if need be as my evidence and Any related hardware of mine which is my evidence in situ


Marek Pawinski

bipolar

Electronically and chemically hacking the human mind



A Polish South African has an sword in their right hand and a bible in their left hand, when the battle is over they start to rebuild



Crimes against humanity.



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This short ebook with pictures, mainly for Doctors, nurses and med students so they can learn by their mistakes, lets offend everybody, is dedicated to Tata and Mama who helped me so much in their living years, 1931 to 2006 and to dear Mama 1941 to 2021. Each part will have additional paragraphs in rolling released versions. A donation of any amount would be great if you enjoy the progress of my draft copy of my autobiography by Paypal. Doctor's nor med students informed me of electronically hacking the human mind of which a limited few where aware of


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Quick jump to: Part 18, Crimes against humanity in South African Psychiatric Hospitals

Crimes against humanity, as defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court Explanatory Memorandum, "are particularly odious offences in that they constitute a serious attack on human dignity or grave humiliation or a degradation of human beings.

Quick jump to: Part 19, G.J. Crookes Hospital

Quick jump to: Part 20, THMC




About the author: Marek Pawinski (bipolar) born in Warsaw, Poland and immigrated to South Africa in 1968 from Paris France, started to operate computers in 1990 with a Prof from Wits using two 5.25 " floppies, (remember Leisure Suite Larry) i started off my vocation in the electrical field and during that time became more interested in computers when i learned how to use CAD. I changed my vocation to the information technology field and studied for my MCSE NT 4 (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer), I gave my final exams a miss (wrote and passed only the four cores) when i discovered the Linux operating system and Red Hat 6.1 was my first boxed set. So in those days i obtained my MCP (Microsoft Certified Professional), NT 4 but continued to self study fifteen Microsoft Windows NT/2000 related books in all and thirteen CISSP related books till 2013. The good about books i purchased is that there are a lot of practical examples to play around with on my LAN.

I then opened another business (other than my electrical business) promoting and selling open source Linux operating systems. I became quite interested in the Information Technology Security field and being quite a book worm in those days I read and used examples of the Information Technology Security books. These days I have practical hacking courses, 29/04/2022 I still read Information Technology Security books even though most of the information can be found browsing the internet. Unfortunately in this day and age I have to deploy an active protection system to prevent line-of-sight and broad spectrum frequencies from acquiring and/or destroying my deceased murdered Mama (whom I was to late to keep alive as she chocked to death on marsh mellows), my wife and I.

I am blessed with bipolar disorder via electronic pulse frequencies
and as Steve Fry (from the (BBC), whom also suffers from bipolar disorder, I am in a stable condition, presently (It fluctuates). Yet when i get treated like shit i type like shit.


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Part eighteen

Lets have a look at medical and pharmaceutical torture. I wonder if the pharmaceutical companies employing the pharmacist's who design the prescription drugs actually try out the prescription drugs out on themselves first other than trying the prescription drugs in test??? cases with 1000 or more (for example) human beings being the guinea pigs to obtain a baseline. Like BP medication which can and does cause ED in some cases..... or gene pool therapy



Nurse

Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital - Crimes against humanity

The beginning of November 2014 I suffered a nervous breakdown which in fact was an electronic attack on my person, I found out in 2022 after my LNB from my Multichoice dish blew like a 88 mm canon, and was later in 2014 admitted to the G.J. Crookes Hospital in Scottburgh, Kwa Zulu Natal, South Africa, after less than two weeks a girl general practitioner, Dr Ndlovo decided to transfer me to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital nestled in the foothills of the Underberg still in Kwa Zulu Natal but in the middle of nowhere. Most of the patients there where admitted for drug induced paranoia or criminal acts. I now release Doctor Ndlovo was taking orders from above as I was first hit electronically in March 2012 when I arrived in Pennington. I had to leave poor Mama behind in JHB as she was Manic and a Doctor said we will both fall ill from the move, John the estate agent from Seeff let Mama stay in his bungalow and Mama stated that his cub board was full of BPMD meds never mind that John smelled of alcohol early in the morning, he did however sell Mama's house on the third shot, I was under the impression that Mama would go stay with her friends in Linden but whilst I was driving down, John called me numerous times and said he will call the cops whilst I was driving down the N3. What was I to do, Mama instructed the movers whom she said four days to pack and into the Elliot Afrovan 24 wheeler,they tried to do the packing in three days and Mama told the packers to leave he bedroom half unpacked so I had to drive down at 6 am with Bono, Buci and Hiya to make it to Pennington before sunset, I had a back massage the night before and made it to Mooi River before I had to down two Red Bulls Mama waved to me as I pulled up the hill towards Pennington, WTF was I to do?
For example it took my wife and i to return home on the 14/01/2015 seven hours by four taxis and we missed the last taxi as it was late and we had to walk for one and one half hour up a hill to get home, we arrived after sunset. The non scenic route takes one and one half hours by a low level flying sixteen seater Quantum ambulance transporter.

These are factual events as of 13th January 2015 which occured at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and G.J. Crookes Hospital, three months prior to the 13th January 2015. I am working on the typos and grammatical errors.

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To top it all i have to go back to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital for more evaluation by a general practitioner as there currently is no psychiatrist at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and ones fate is decided by a general practionioner. Did you see the movie Rwanda, well what is to follow is very similar. I was the only Caucasian patient in the two wings of the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital amongst forty five Africans. What a nightmare, i was assaulted by an psychotic patient who tried to steal my breakfast, six slices of bread with a bit of butter and tea. i limped for two weeks after this incident with terrible pain in my left buttock. Patients who assault other patients are hit with batons by the security guards and then given Clopixol Acuphase injections to knock them for a few days. The patients fight and hit each other for tobacco especially when the tobbacco runs out and i m the only one who has tobacco. It is impossible to enjoy a hand rolled cigarette by oneself as i was surrounded by twenty psychotic or semi psychotic patients each and every time demanding two pulls of my fag and the patients act as if its there right to my tobacco. Never mind food or gifts received from visitors, one has to eat what one receives at the nursing sisters station or all the food will be taken over by the patients.
What a relief to find out that prison is worse than the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital from two of the patients who actually where in prison, i am being a bit salcastic in this sentence.

On one occasion a patient was bugging me with questions and i told him to speak to the nurse. The nurse told me to "fuck off" and when i went to the sister in charge to report this the security guard followed me and tried to prevent me from speaking to the sister in charge, the security guard from LK Solutions Security then said to me that i am "rubbish" and he will call the other security guards to beat me with battons.

Flooded bathroom floors

Bathing time is African style like the majority of Africans in South Africa bath in a large plastic dish with about ten litres of water or less. I was quite used to this as this is how i bathed at my wives house. Above is a pic of how the basins looked like.

I feel sorry for the patients as most of them receive no visitors and i have never heard of or seen before this episode that nurses walk around with polycop plumbing pipe about four hundred milimeters long and fifteen milimeters thick and assualt the patients. Is this Psychiatry?

On the other hand the sisters in charge and some staff sisters where quite good to me and where very helpfull, but they have to follow the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital rules.

Medication is handed out at 09:30 after breakfast and the patients share the same water cups to down the medication, thank God I do not have turberculousis or some other horrible disease from sharing cups with 45 patients.

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The patients spend the whole day in a closed courtyard, fifteen by twenty meters and urinate in one corner of the courtyard as the patients are not allowed to go inside the wards to urinate during the day. The stench of urine is unbearable in that corner of the courtyard unless it rains and the urine washes away into the drain. On one night the urinal was blocked inside the ward and the urinal overflowed with urine for three days. More stench and those patients without shoes walked in the urine. The toilets do not work and faeces build up till someone flushes the toilet with a bucket, most nauseating.

Water is sometimes not available during the night when the water bucket and one cup is not left on the other side of the locked grill gate, never mind the fire hazard. If there was a fire there is no chance in hell that all five wards could be open to let out the patients. The wards, ten patients per ward are locked at night as some windows where broken with axxess to the courtyard from the passage.

At this stage I think I would be ashamed if I was any part of the medical profession, especially the Doctors whom are aware of all this and general practitioners who treat psych patients as there is currently no psychiatrist in the Hospital.

I have sixteen years experience as an electrician in the construction field and seventeen years experience in Information Technology mainly using the Linux operating system as well as Microsoft Windows, yet at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital i must take orders from cleaners and nurses under twenty five years of age, one of the duties of the nurses is to write reports about the patients. If the nurses don't like a patient they write negative reports about a patient. I found that most of the male staff nurses had more of a heart than the females, some female nurses and sisters are real bitches. On my last day when as i typed before attacked and surrounded by thirty or so patients for a fag, the one male staff nurse looked on in despair but he could do nothing. I was so happy and excited to go home on LOA (leave of absence) so one of the nurses asked me if i was having a relapse (from my excitement) can you believe it. The nurses play little mind games and notarize everything a patient does in the courtyard during the day which is mostly sleep. Like i typed before 45 or so nut cases and four sexy nurses just does not go, the males all want the attention of the nurses. Some of the nurses are very very shaftable but i think most of them are into bondage. We where all to go for a haircut and at first i refused. I did not want a kaal kop (no hair African style), so i eventually said i would like my beard trimmed but the nursing sister said i could not go anymore. She had the hots for me but was playing hard to get. One has to have a beard as there are no razors available and the patients my slit each others throats with the razors.

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I was unable to pay my bills as i was in the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and G.J. Crookes Hospital, joy to the world, i now have "hundreds" of debt collector companies after me and my credit rating has dropped to zero. Of course no shrink, G.P., sister, nurse nor social worker will help me out with my debt but someone was very eagar to put me away to Umzimkulu psych hospital because of their grave faux pas. The social worker at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital has ninety patients in the queue and i was lucky to see the general practionioner on the 13/01/2015 as he was still busy attending to patients from November 2014. This frightens me as i may wait for weeks to see the general practionioner on my return.

Stephen Fry (a BBC presenter) based in London AFAIK has experienced mental health problems for much of his life. I am sure he did not receive the treatment i received in Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, not for the life of my can i still phathom that Psychiatric patients are treated with assualt and abuse as part of there treatment to become well again even thought most of the patients are in the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital are there for drug induced psychosis where they stabbed or assualted someone.

The Zulu language is spoken most of the time and i don't have a clue what is going on especially at the twice daily forced prayer sessions but i have to join in anyway. My wife is a Zulu girl yet i only understand a bit of Zulu, like "faga lo makulu mthondo kona la ingquza". My wife is quite religious so i don't have anything against religion if i at least i could understand the singing and chanting.

I think it's disgusting that South Africa receives billions of ZAR in medical grants from overseas for this kind of treatment and never mind the theft. I had a terrible summer flu for two weeks and only realized later that the roll on deodrant shared by forty five patients was for woman. The roll on ordered for the patients at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital is stolen by someone working in the Hospital for there own use and most of the nursing staff are woman, can't figure out the theft bit as the nursing staff have three to eight thousand ZAR smart phones and drive new 150 000 ZAR plus motor vechicles.

I was treated slightly better than the rest of the patients because i am Caucasian, and like i typed before the only Caucasian within miles of the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital. I hope someone takes notice of this part of my book so my African friends (patients) can receive better treatment instead of being assaulted with battons, high heels and plumbing pipe.

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I don't know anymore what is the official language of South Africa but the medication i took home on my leave of absence, the instructions where in Zulu.

I actually fear for my life at Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, the ward where i am now is called Male Block Two. And one of the patients in this ward is some kind of martial arts expert. On my arrival he had to show off his moves whist we where waiting to be counted. (Counting of patients involves the patients sitting for one hour doing nothing waiting the shift to change and then be counted.) From time to time this "martial arts patient" goes a bit nuts especially on the tobacco subject like most other patients, 70% of the patients. Pure joy knowing i can be assaulted or worse anytime for a small amount of tobacco or food.



Hyena attack



Above is a pic of an example of the small pieces of tobacco some patients would gather for hours to roll one fag using a newspaper as rolling paper

Patients are admitted to Male Block One where 80% of the patients are psychotic, 40% from actually been mentally ill and the rest mostly drug induced pyschosis or being sent to Umzimkulu for some criminal act. Smoking of tobacco is allowed in the ward. Sorry to burst your bubble, i was never once tested positive for mary jane nor coke nor any other magic mushroom. Then the transition to Male Block Two where smoking tobacco is also allowed. Male Block Three, i dread to go there, there is absolutly no smoking allowed and i have been smoking tobacco for thirty five years. I had a small nervous breakdown on admittance to Male Block One and then to Male Block Two. Each transition is like some kind of initiation ceremony where the patients test to see if they can obtain tobacco and food out of me. One patient actually sits on my bed up to and hour waiting for me to light up as he figures what's mine is his. Not all the patients are like this thank God and i recon i have made a few friends.

Wolf attack

The tobacco saga occurs with all new patients and their tobacco or food is quickly consumed in a few hours. Watching lions, hyenas or vultures on TV or in real life on a kill can give a good picture of the food and tobacco episodes, meaning the food and tobacco brought by visitors to the patients.

Hand rolled fag

Tobacco smoke contains many harmful chemicals such as carbon monoxide, cyanide, nicotine and tar, which cause disease and death. Non-smokers and ex-smokers on average, live longer and are healthier than smokers. For more information call +27117203145

Above is a pic of a hand rolled fag the patients used to roll when i had rizla rolling paper in stock, newspaper was normally used, bit harsh when one has a cold or flu, the newspaper that is.

Boredom is a real killer and lucky enough my sister bought me a few magazines (to the disapproval of some staff nurses as there where semi naked girls in the magazines, wow can you handle that, maybe the staff where afraid that the patients would start shafting each other, too many happy clappies rule this world on a Sabbath day) and a novel with large font as my multi focals where stolen at G.J. Crookes Hospital, Scottburgh, this was Xmas of 2014 on the 22nd of December 2014. My previous business, AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's keep me busy for sixteen hours a day so you can imagine doing sweet nothing all most of the day from sunrise till 21:00. Some of the patients whom have been at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital for months, up to nine months or more love it there, free food, free accomandation and free medication, at the taxpayers expense, joy to the world. Lets face it most South Africans have one meal per day if that and at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital:

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BBQ at Jabu's mum's place

I rather enjoy this in the pic above than the menu below


  • 09:30 Breakfast: Six slices of bread with margarine on three of the slices and tea with milk and sugar, sometimes no milk
  • 13:00 Lunch: Rice or phutu pap or saltless samp and 25 gramms of meat unless there is mince meat then 50 gramms, drumstick of chicken sometimes on Sundays
  • 16:30 Supper: Rice and beans or pap and pilchards
  • 20:00: Black over sweetened tea (laced with stay soft) and four slices of bread, two of them with margarine
No need to complain, wow at G.J. Crookes Hospital, the food was better, at least different kinds of porridge for breakfast and an egg and a variety of meat and veggies for lunch. Don't understand why all the Government food dished out is not standard

South Africa is one of the few countries in the world where one can receive treatment for under $3 but this kind of treatment i don't ne ed and i am not the only patient who complains about abuse and assault. Most of the African patients and there families live in the sticks cks so to whom will they report all this to. I love South Africa and South Africans but this is really the pits.

I noticed many of the patients at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital take a drug called Risperidone, a horrible piece of work where sixty sixty percentage of males suffer from erectile dysfunction when taking Risperidone, i wonder if the "mental patients" (that's what they are referred to as by the staff) actually have a choice whether to have erectile dysfunction or not, i bet my bottom dollar and it's a fact that no patient is informed of the side effects of the medication they are taking, why should us "mental patients" be informed or have the right to know of side effects, we are the scum of the earth, maybe Government Psychiatry gets it's "info manual" from the holocast. I once researched Risperidone for days on the internet in 2012 and wow what negative reviews. Some of the patients are so spaced out on prescription drugs they sleep most of the day to keep them calm.

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During my stay at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, i observed the finer art of theft, assualt by LK Security Solutions on patients, i pity the guy (patient) whom escaped from the ajoining ward, his screams could be heard miles away whilst the patient was beat with batons. No respect for patients, i once informed one of the staff members that the burglar bars put up on one window had jaggered steel edges and could hurt someone so the staff member said "let them". There is no outbound communication to the outside world for most of the African patients, if one asks a nurse to send an sms the answer is "battery flat" or "no airtime, mean while the nurses sit using WhatsApp the whole day. Ok it would be a bit heavy if 45 patients used the nurses phone, even though i offered to pay, the nurses could at least answer truthfully and inform the patients that cell phone calls are allowed. The nurses are a bunch of liars and have the cheek to pray twice a day with the patients. If a patient ask a nurse for something the answer is more likely to be "kusasa" (tomorrow). I can understand spending twelve hours a day for five days shift with psychotic patients is a bit taxing but the staff nurses opted for this job and i think that the patients at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital could be treated with dignity and more humanly.

I learned a whole lot of new Zulu words at Umzimkulu psych hospital like, ingquza, masende and bhebha to the disapproval of my wife.

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Some of the African patients where so desperate for tobacco they would collect the tiny pieces of loose tobacco from the floor and when there was enough tobacco they would roll a "joint" in a manner of speaking.

Don't try this at home or anywhere else and i do not condone this but it seems that according to Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, violence is cool and condoned. As long as you sort out your frustrations with batons, polycop plumbers pipe, high heels, a strawberry jam sandwich and mind bending, muscle spasm causing injections.

I am upset now very upset. How on earth could Dr Ndlovo from G.J. Crookes transfer me from a cage full of pigeons to a cage full of vipers and ruin me financially. If i had been discharged from G.J. Crookes i would have been able to make up my payments. Surely if a patient is so psychotic they would be transferred on day one or two. Yet according to my mother: a security guard impersonating a principal psychiatrist, informed my mother that "they need the beds" which is also not true as there where two empty beds in the ward and G2 is also used for psych patients.

I must have been in a very bad state of mind as one night sister took my blood pressure nightly and allowed me to take her blood pressure on numerous occasions. Imagine that some cleaners and staff nurses allowed me to choose and play songs on there smart phones. Ok i hope this paragraph does not get anyone into trouble but i watched the most fantastic game of soccer with the night staff and security guards one Wednesday night. I stand corrected i was at G.J. Crookes longer than 72 hours as i now remember there was no soccer game the next Wednesday for some or other reason whilst i was at G.J. Crookes Hospital.

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Doc e, arranged that i do not have to go back to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, thank you very much for that.


Restroom


I prefer and so do all of us, a restroom like in the pic above and not a restroom overflowing with shit and piss

I acquired two "bodyguards" in Male block one after my tobacco was stolen off my person whilst i was lying down in the morning sunshine on the tiled section of the courtyard floor. My one bodyguard and friend (John was his name) even himself mentioned that it was stressful holding onto my tobacco and rolling "joints" for me. The other bodyguard had been in the ward for many months and the other African patients where a bit wary of him. He would make sure that the other African patients stayed away whilst the tobacco was rolled mostly using my own purchased paper or if that ran out then newspaper. Best to choose the meanest mother fuckers as your friends in a place like this, which works on occassions.

Talking about "joints", marijuana is freely available at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital. I found this out when a patient asked me for a light and my bodyguard and best African friend John, told me not to smoke from that "joint" as it contains marijuana. Mary jane is supposed to induce paranoia in mentally ill patients so WTF.

Quite educating this business. I found out that one can crush and smoke pain killers as another room mate who slept opposite me did. Maybe that's why some nurses refused to hand out pain killers without a Doctor's script. So if you have a splitting headache in the afternoon one might obtain some pain killers the next day if lucky. I stay away from pain killers if possible but with my buttock injury from being assaulted and my two week summer cold i was popping pain killer's like crazy. Not thanks to the female Doctor whom i requested pain killers at the nurses station and she did not write them up the first time.

Come to think of it my best African friend went on his knees to talk to this female Doctor at the nurses station. Not that they where married but i was under the impression that Zulu girls serve food on their knees to their husbands. And he was nowhere near psychotic.

To get back to the drugs story, on one occasion i received a phone call in the injection room and there was this newly admitted coloured chap trying to open the medicine trolly. (He also received the customery tobacco treatment on arrival.) A few days later he and the guy who smoked the pain killers managed to steal some drugs from the medicine trolly. They received the baton treatment for their troubles. The assaulting of patients continues to baffle me as i was under the impression that violence in psychiatry was meant to be discouraged (never mind frowned upon) and guys that where in private and most state hospitals, that i have communicated with where never assaulted. Thank God i never witnessed any assault the first time i was admitted at G.J. Crookes Hospital unlike Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital.

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On my move from one section to the next at Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital i lost my mountain view bed but was soon invited to another ward closer to the windows by two patients, the alterior motives you guess it, tobacco. The first ward or section i was in (gets a bit confusing this ward business) but anyhow i had a lovely view of the foothills of the Underberg mountains but knew this stunning view of the mountains and a village which was part of Umzimkulu village would not last and soon became quite mudane. Being an outdoor lover i never dreamt magestic mountains could become so boring.

So much agro and fustration as the patients where not allowed out the wards for walks. In any of the three wards bar one occasion. Maybe the patients would try to escape, wow why on earth would anyone want to escape. The one occasion sixteen patients where allowed to go for a walk outside was for a haircut. I remember that day very well. I was sitting in the courtyard and a female nurse starting picking out patients for a haircut. She called me out and i said no thanks. I did not want my hair to be cut bald as some Africans cut their hair. My blood really boiled and when the sixteen patients where about to get on the way for hair cuts i wanted to go with to have my beard trimmed off. The female nurse then changed her mind and said that i could not go at all. Talk about being petty.

I might be making a big issue of the tobacco story but that was the only occupational therapy there was at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and when the patients received their monthly disability grant or visitors brought tobacco the patients who smoked, smoked non stop almost till all their tobacco was finished in two or three days. Might as well make a "meal" of it when you have it. I was rather more cautious and tried to ration my tobacco till my wife came to visit me. For every one hundred grams of tobacco i received, i recon i smoked fifty grams and the other fifty grams was for "bodyguard" and sharing of tobacco fees.

Ninety five percent of the patients smoked and a large percentage never smoked before but only smoked at the Umzimkulu to pass the time and have something to occupy themselves with, the youngsters under 28 years of age or so would hide there smoking habits from their mothers or family when they came to visit them.

The patients make their own beds in the morning's. The nurses then come along and make the beds again. I found out only one blanket per patient is permitted during the summer months. Allegedly June and July the coldest months, really cold in the Underberg as I found out first hand on some of our vacations in the Drakensberg, two blankets are allowed. One or two degrees celsius (34 F) outside in winter at late night and early morning it gets really cold without a heater in the bedroom wherever you might be in a hotel or the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital. The patients ward windows are not triple glazed but thinking back the glass is 15mm thick so that must help with the cold a wee bit.

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How dare the Sisters, nurses (male and female) and security guards force the patients to pray and dance around in a circle singing Zulu religious songs after the way some of them treat the patients, two faced religious attitudes, i am sure it is written somewhere: abuse, assault, degrade ones dignity, humiliate and tomorrow you will be forgiven. I took no part in these prayer "meeting's" other than i was forced to stand. And my last morning at Umzimkulu Psych Hospital i did go around in circles chanting something at the insistence of one of the nurses just to please her and not have hassles on my last day.

Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness. Matthew 7:21-23

I used to be quite a self religious person but i have lost my respect for God due to this hospital stay and psychological after effects, really too much is too much.

I think Stephen Fry is correct with his viewpoint on God. ''The quicker you forget about Him, your life will change for the better"

This is the final nail in the coffin between God and i and it really hurts me to loose faith after so many years, but this is really it, i have had enough. What i have gone through in my life is a fraction of some of the pain and suffering others go or have gone through but i have had enough of this blatant two faced religious attitudes.

And it gets even better, on the 18th Febuary 2015, another anniversary, my birthday, my

The reason i was sent from G.J. Crookes Hospital in Scottburgh, South Africa to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital was that Doctor Ndlovo filled up a bath and gave me a teaspoon, cup and bucket and asked me to empty the bath, i choose the bucket, she asked me whether i would like a bed by the window in the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital as normal people would pull the bath plug. Just thought i would ad a bit of humour, this did not actually happen but one never knows, many things said in jest could be true.

Crimes against humanity, as defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court Explanatory Memorandum, "are particularly odious offences in that they constitute a serious attack on human dignity or grave humiliation or a degradation of human beings, they really fucked me up at Umzimkulu.

 
 


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Crimes against humanity, as defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court Explanatory Memorandum, "are particularly odious offences in that they constitute a serious attack on human dignity or grave humiliation or a degradation of human beings.
 
 


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Part nineteen

November 2015 i relapsed and landed up in the Ethembeni Ward at G.J Crooks Hospital on the 5th of December 2015. This is a government Hospital on the South Coast of South Africa where 95% of the patients are African.

The food at Ethembeni ward is good, mielie meal porridge or jungle oats, egg, bread and tea for breakfast. For lunch a hot meal is served with two veggies and meat as well as phutu or rice. Supper another hot meal with a little less on the plate.

But smoking privlages are few and far between in the psych ward. Five fags a day is all one is allowed, if one has them. So if one is used to smoking thirty fags a day one has suddenly cut down to five which was very good for my stress levels. The security guards reguarly steal the patients smokes and shared my smokes with other patients. The security guards (there is ways one on duty) find this ward most boring and cannot understand the illness of the patients.

On arrival at the Ethembeni ward i was beaten up by male staff nurses, hit with solid punches to my back for no apparent reason. Must be another lesson they will never forget. I was not that psychotic to imagine that.

Bath time is at around six thirty am and only six thirty am. I was beaten up by two of the biggest security guards for having a bath in the afternoons due to the heat, whilst still in the tub i was pounded with fists to my face. Doctor M ignored my complaint.

There are ten beds in the Ethembeni ward, two seclusion room beds. In the five room ward there is a television. The only entertainment is to check out the young nurses butts if they are on duty that day and the cleaner was a real dog. Like i said the hospital has an OT section but there is no OT.

Thank God i was transferred to an infectious ward for a few weeks where i had more freedom. I could smoke when i wanted to and spent the days recovering at a normal pace, there was no beef as to when one could take a shower, not like the Ethembeni ward "prison" where i "misplaced" my wedding band and my multi focals where stolen on another visit.

Yet the powers that be decided to transfer me back to Ethembeni ward as i was smoking too much, like there is so much to do with no OT (occupational therapy) at all, even though the hospital does have an OT section.

The infectious ward has thirty six beds, eight of the beds are taken up by non psychotic psych patients. Can't be that of a infectious ward as only 70% of the nurses wear masks and not all the doctors wear masks. Strange the reason i was sent to Umzimkulu psych hospital, according to the CEO (Chief Security Guard) was that the beds at Ethembeni where full, i never knew the doctors transferred patients from Ethembeni to G2, must be another lesson they will never forget that they gave me.

As usual the security guards are in charge of the ward(s), to be a security guard at a government hospital the security guard has to first go to university for three years at least, in any faculty, the security guards also have to be au faut with beating up one patient, eight against one. Which i witnessed with my own eyes at G2 and at Umzimkulu.

Strange that there are three other security guards, who are in charge, Indian chaps whom use brain power to negotiate with a troublesome patient but they are not around much.

Talent abounds at G.J. Crookes Hospital, there are tons of lovely nurses and sisters. The white nurses uniforms are quite see through at times and nothing beats a nice tight behind. The cleaners are not too bad either and some are quite friendly. On the subject of talent, i would not mind shagging my out patient GP. she is quite cute and also an African. I have been with my wife for six years now so African "girls" really turn me on.

In the apartheid days i would have been killed for going out with an African girl or marrying one. By the Africans and not the apartheid security police, according to one of the staff nurses at Umzimkulu Psych Hospital.

Nothing wrong at looking as long as one does not touch. Being away from my wife for such a long time really makes one "jags" (randy). Oh well as long as there where tons of nurses to look at. ED (erectile dysfunction) is a real pain and the doctors don't give a fuck, never mind the herbs cost an arm and a leg a shot (pun intended) but there is no spontaneous love making. The herbs or Cialis have to be taken and then the long wait till the mood changes and we are ready for love making. The joy of living in South africa where the "girls" out number the men fifteen million to one. And yes money talks, African girls like "mulungu" with big bucks, so i will have have no luck in that department. Not that WIC "girls" don't like march, (money) either.

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On a brighter side, Xmas day we spent at the beach and had supper at the mall thanks to my sister whom arranged a pass out. It was nice to eat out with my family and especially my wife at one of the restaurants. My sister and i also spent a day at the beach amongst the throng of holiday makers on a previous occasion.

An African lady was locked up in the seclusion room for a few days and all she did was scream at the top of her voice, non stop. She was there for at least one week, strange that she was not transferred to Umzimkhulu.

I think I rather be in a psych ward at G.J. Crookes Hospital (but not Umzimkhulu) than at the oncology ward if i had to choose illnesses. I am so blessed, touch wood not to have any physical illness other than erectile dysfunction which is a cause of the meds i swallow religiously. No joy to those guys whom suffer from blood pressure hassles as well, ED is also part of their game. Two doctors suggested i take Cialis, fuck that i need a boner on demand not having to wait one hour before i can get hard on and stress does not help either, i can take 2000 mg Cialis and will not get it up if i am stressed out.

Just like in Ward one at Umzimkulu Psych Hospital the patients bath in a basin to make them feel really at home. 70% of South Africans bath in a basin at night or during the day with a kettle of hot water or boiled water on a fire. In the country where i come from, after WWII and still into the fifties, ditto for some.

G2 ward at G.J. Crookes had five showers and as i mentioned previously Ethembeni ward had one scalding hot water supply from the bath. A thermostat costs around 250 ZAR, (12 USD). The thermostat was either set on boiling point so 10 patients could have hot water or some dick head needed to replace the thermostat, but who the fuck am i to talk being a former electrician of sixteen years. Maintenance could at least install another water heater back to back at ethembeni after spending millions of ZAR revamping G.J. Crookes Hospital where the reception area is tops and so is the pharmacy.

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To top it all on my last out patient visit to G.J. Crookes in May 2016 there was no psychiatrist working in the Hospital and i was seen to by a GP. Hopefully this has changed by now, psychiatrists might as well not study for a few years longer if a GP can do the shrinks job which they cannot.

I obtain a rash from the meds i take but was refused by the GP in May 2016 for a script for Persivate ointment, she informed me "i must go upstairs" and wait another three hours in the queue to see another doctor. Seriously if herbal meds where strong enough for my condition i would be taking them and not these shit meds that give me erectile dysfunction and Cialis costs an arm and a leg which i cannot afford even though there are herbal alternatives at one third of the price which work just as well.

It was rather cold on a motorcycle in May 2016 and i arrived at G.J. Crooks at round 8:00 by the time i obtained my file it was 09:00, i waited till 12:00 to see the GP at the psych clinic. The total cost for the consultation and meds supply for six months is one and one half USD (twenty ZAR) so can't complain there.

It's the assault, violence and theft that really bugs me and this is commited by the security guards even though some nursing sisters and nurses steal the patients food, to take in a lunch box home with them, as well as milk and fresh juice. Odd that someone with a 6000 ZAR smart phone needs to steal. I was once shaking and almost had a nervous breakdown when in front of thirty six patients at G2 an African chap was assaulted and held down by eight security guards, he just cried out "mfowethu mfowethu" (spelling) which means brother in the Zulu language. One needs six months to recuperate after being a patient in a government hospital. Not all Africans are like this, most go to church on a Saturday or Sunday or maybe it's the bible that's the problem.

When one is psychotic one does not know what the fuck is going on so the doctor's and sisters try there best in a fassion with meds that are of dubious nature. Each shrink likes there own meds. Strangely in a private hospital a psych patient recovers on average in ten days but the government hospitals have some philosophy that a psych patient needs to stay from one to three months if not longer. However if a psych patient is too spaced out for care in a private hospital and the twenty four hour "knock out injection" which puts one to sleep, does not work then he or she is sent to a government hospital if the patient is non compliant of all things. So those whom have medical aid really score.

We have discovered from reading this book that violence is acceptable by staff members, theft is A ok in psych wards and hospitals of all places, by the staff. I would not treat my dogs the way i was treated and my African friends where treated in the psych hospitals.
Spot of bad luck in the South Coast for me with my manic episodes spiking due to what i thought was the change in altitude but i will never know as there is only a twenty minute if that consultation with a GP or shrink per out patient session at the G.J Crookes Hospital.





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Jesus I trust in You

Part twenty

On a very brighter note i was once admitted to THMC, what a holiday camp it was in those days. This was a semi private/government psych Hospital. I believe the historic place has been closed down now due to the high cost of rates and taxes in Sandton, Gauteng, South Africa. A real shame as most of the buildings were from the early 60's. I believe i was given the incorrect intel as the place is still open. The procedure is one starts of at a private hospital, then demoted to a government hospital then sent of to THMC for a holiday. At one stage in our lives we will suffer from one illness or other so having bipolar disorder is just one of those things or is it brain radiation from electronic sources.

There where two swimming pools at THMC, some med students don't even know the place. One for the patients and one for the staff nurses who lived in the single quarters. There where also two full size snooker tables in the games room. A cafe for the patients and staff as well. There was a historic chapel and some of the buildings where quite historic which means nothing in South Africa, try knock down a historic building in Europe for instance and see what occurs, just come with bulldozer and put up modern skyscrapers. Come to think of it i got into big shit one night as i was chatting up an African sister, the next day she was put on day shift. What mentality, black is beautiful.

There where six meals served a day, breakfast, tea, lunch, tea, supper and then tea again, tea as in tea or coffee with biscuits not tea tea. The food was quite good and one could put on weight. THMC was nowhere near similar to Barbara Streisand's movie "Nuts". More nut case staff members at Umzimkulu psychc hospital than anywhere else. They really taught me a lesson they will never forget. Sometimes its spelt Umzimkhulu. Which in Zulu means "place of the fucked up mountain", not really but close.

I made some friends at THMC, the first friend I made was a girl older than I. We spent many happy days together in a rocky enclave on the terrain. That was our OT. Nobody complained. I made some friends in the concrete yard as well playing ping pong, what comes to mind was that I was playing ping pong with a madala staff member and their was a beautiful blonde girl. We became friends and later when I visited THMC for a function after discharge in my W 123 we connected, the four of us. My dorm was connected to the female section and the girls always complained they did not have enough hot water, especially my blonde friend. Who else was there? Towards the end was a guy older than me who suffered from depression, I would insist that we we for walks in the enormous grounds, the ground's where bigger than ten football fields at least.

Happy days of recovery at THMC, there was even a guy who used to play the Guitar with a horrible voice. We sat with him endlessly after supper and listened to his tune till sunset. Basically we just fucked around at THMC waiting for a discharge. I told my Doc that I had not been sent for official OT so he apoligized and stated that he will send me to OT. As I said and the only hold seemed to be that I had made moves on the African night shift sister, I chaffed her big fucking deal, I did not even touch her and he told Tata so. It was winter so I did not swim but the clear sparkling water of the pools looked really inviting. The Sister and Nurses pool was where Miss C stayed, I was later to find out. There where small rooms about 14 squares for the staff. Miss C told me that she previously stayed in a house. I don't know why they moved her from the house. After six month's of dispensing me meds I asked Miss C out and she accepted. She moved into Mama's house where we spent a pleasant time together at first. Every day I would make her breakfast at 5 am as she was transferred to the JHB Gen as a principal pharmacist. We went out two to three times a week to Cresta Mall and a pub by the Dam. There was dancing and I drank cold drink whilst she enjoyed her red wine. The hamburgers where delicious as well as the beef jerkey. Every Wednesday and Friday there was dancing. We used to drive to the farm every second or third weekend and her farther was grateful that she did not drive alone. I really enjoyed the cattle and game farm. I spent most of my time with Miss C's farther at the farm. Miss C was not interested, she would sleep on the back seat on the way to the farm and only get in front once we crossed the railway line. Basically we where in love and engaged, her farther asked me to change churches which I accepted. There where two cooks who would cook food from Saturday morning till Sunday lunch. At night Miss C's farther and her brother would braai (BBQ) where there was always beer available. Many happy days. Some not so happy when Miss C smeared shit on the bathroom wall and Mama had to clean it off at Mama's house. Miss C was very ill with a nasty variant of BPMD. I eventually dumped her when she started to break Mama's place down.

we spent the days walking the huge grounds and eating.

28/06/2022 I am now without funds except for the few pence I have in my wallet, we have to wait for my wives pay to purchase food and tobacco for July, lucky we have rice, mielie meel, a bit of sugar but meat is running low and I have to pay the bills. I have never been in such a situation, Tata and Mama where always there for me. Especially Mama, God bless her soul. I am basically bankrupt. Not one fuck wants to purchase the shit I am trying to sell on Gumtree. Homeless here I come, I will walk the streets with my Ridgeback Tyson. All thanks to Umzinkulu Pshyc Hospital and the African National Congress who messed up South Africa.

Contact: info at pawinski dot co dot za

Afrihost, Agneska, AntiX, Canonical, Checkers, Clicks, Crunchbang, G.J. Crookes Hospital, Gumtree, Umzimkulu Psyhc Hospital, THMC, Cialis, Debian, Fedora, FreeBSD, HP, Google, Lenovo, Linux, Linux Mint, Mageia, Mangero, Microsoft Windows, MTN, Netcare, OK Foods, openSUSE, pornpics.com/ebony, RCI, Rizla, Red Hat, Unknown hackers which I mistook for the incorrect folks, I personally think the hacking is mostly coming down via SAPS Secret Service, Samsung, Sparky, Tabac, Telkom, Ubuntu, Viagra, Wattnow, Zippo and any others i might have missed are registered trademarks of the respected owners

This is to certify that any misunder standing betwee Doc Ndodlo was just that and I apologise for my behaviuor in taking it out on Doc Ndlovo that she sent me to Umzimukulu physc Hospital as Doc Ndlovo in her late twenties was obtaining instructions from above

This book is a draft copy Rev 9

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